If you were unlucky enough to be stuck in the office Tuesday afternoon, at least Twitter was providing an amusing distraction: #secondcivilwarletters.
The hashtag, which imagines Civil War era-esque prose with a (sometimes hilarious) modern twist, seems to be in response to conservative talk show host Alex Jones, who tweeted Monday that Democrats planned to launch a civil war on July 4.
— Alex Jones (@RealAlexJones) July 1, 2018
The hashtag was reportedly started by liberal activist Amanda Blount on Monday night.
The war isn’t going as planned. Our supply trucks are limited. I’m out of wine and sunscreen. The enemy burned all the books and there is no place to recharge my Kindle. The only music is an old CD of Justin Bieber. – All is lost. #secondcivilwarletters
— Amanda Blount (@amandablount2) July 2, 2018
It quickly caught steam, and had thousands of results by Tuesday afternoon.
I create a simple little tweet and now I’ve lost control!!
I’d make a terrible mad scientist!
— Amanda Blount (@amandablount2) July 3, 2018
It even garnered the attention of some celebrities and politicians, who took a stab at their own posts.
I write to you with a heavy heart. I was gravely memed during a skirmish with a squad of Incel Irregulars. Doc Tibbens says there?s nothing for it ? he will have to amputate my Twitter feed.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 3, 2018
Please forgive my extended absence. I have been anxiously engaged in efforts to take ownership of the progressive factions, who have come to battle ill-prepared and armed with predictable stratagem.
— Senator Hatch Office (@senorrinhatch) July 3, 2018
Here’s a look at some of other “letters.”
Dearest, Be heartened. Our moral is lifted by fantastic music as we have all of the rhythm & artistic talent on our side. We also have the science, which is helpful for so many reasons. And yet, still, I have seen horrors. The grammar, my god, the grammar. #secondcivilwarletters
— Amanda Deibert (@amandadeibert) July 3, 2018
Arrived deep in the woods of Bowling Green. I fear we may be surrounded. The enemy remains out of sight, but the aroma of Hot Pockets and hand lotion permeates the air. This may be the end.
— Matt Green (@matthewcgreen) July 3, 2018
The Red Hats pinned us down until we were saved by the cavalry: women of color on horseback charging into battle.
Afterward, despite having no horses or expertise, some of the white males in our unit demanded to be in charge of the cavalry.#secondcivilwarletters
— Charlotte Clymer?? (@cmclymer) July 3, 2018
I am okay. I was almost captured by a curly hair blonde girl with an AR-15. But she was just taking selfies with the gun so I was able to escape.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) July 3, 2018
War is not what Call Of Duty prepared me for.
Generals Eric and Jr. tell us we must hold the Hobby Lobby parking lot, but the Libs have posted signs saying “free beer this way.” No one returns from the free beer.
— Ryan S. (@maybeprobablyme) July 3, 2018
Grandma: I want to show you something.
Child: Your old holograms?
Grandma: No, a letter.
You aren?t invited to my parties anymore.
— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) July 3, 2018
Although our morale has been flagging of late, the Captain does her best. We were able to commandeer a 7-11 after she promised a can of LaCroix to anyone who made it past the parking lot. The action was successful. Sadly, it was only Pellegrino.#SecondCivilWarLetters
— Philip Borenstein (@pborenstein) July 3, 2018
— Patricia G Rocco (@pix_er) July 3, 2018
We’ve put out the word that they’re, there, and their all have different meanings. We hold out hope that our message will be heard.
— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) July 3, 2018